MetroMan: You’re a fool!
On my way to an assignment yesterday, I had quick stop at a microfinance bank to see if I could get a loan since commercial banks would ask for your head.
I was shown the customer service on requisition but was told to wait a bit as she was busy.
So I sat in the small reception they had, strategising on the best way to present my case in order to convince these people and at the same time sizing them up to calculate what they could offer.
My gaze finally rested on a guy and a cashier, who were engrossed in a very interesting discussion.
The cashier, a tall slender and light complexion lady, was seen making all the eyes in the seduction world, while counting some bills.
And the guy too was rustling something which looked like car keys and at the same time flashing his phones.
I stood up and walked casually to the counter. I intentionally interrupted their mood and asked the lady where deposit slips were kept.
She waved at a corner dismissively.
I took one and pretended as if I was filling it but was actually listening to their conversation.
“I don’t want wahala o,” the lady said.
“There is no wahala na. As old as I am I can’t say I don’t have a girl but she is not here. She is London!” the man replied, “besides it’s just last month, we called it quit.”
I shook my head, cancelled the slip as if I made an error entry and reached out for another one.
“Okay o. Because I don’t like a man cheating on his wife o. And if I call you, I hope it is not another person’s property I am disturbing o,” the lady said seductively.
“Lailai!” was the response.
I smiled to myself and envisage hot water boiling somewhere in the kitchen, while madam is preparing to strike.
They exchanged numbers and the fulfilled man left. I tried to see the brand of car he had, but he turned a corner.
So I turned to the lady.
“Please dear, I want to ask you a question,” I asked.
“Yes sir. How may I help you?” she asked.
“If one cheats on his wife, does it mean you dont like her?”
She responded, “No.”
“So why were you against dating a married man because that guy that just left here is sure a married.”
“Well, cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage.”
“Wow, you’re so creative! I like the way you put it!” I responded, “this should convey the message to my wife in simple term why I must cheat! I am preserving her beauty!”
I turned to the lady,”Thanks dear, you are a life saver!”
“Excuse sir!” she called, “may I have your number?”
I returned to the counter, leaned over and asked,”Why dear?”
She looked pitifully at me and said, “So I can know which hospital to come to visit you, aridin!”
I left without even talking about the loan!