Help! My sister-in-law has started a hot passionate love affair with me and my DAD
I had sex with my brother’s wife when she was feeling low and confided in me.
We started an affair – and now I’ve learned my dad has been seeing her too.
I am 28 and single.
We were at a family gathering for my nan’s 70th.
It was a fine night and I went outside for a cigarette.
My brother’s wife was doing the same.
She’s 32, a year younger than my brother.
We talked and smoked for a while, then she sighed heavily and said how unhappy she was.
She said she and my brother have been living more-or-less separate lives for over two years.
He’d rather be at the pub than at home with her, let alone take her to bed.
Then she started crying.
I suggested I took her home.
My brother was settled in for the night, drinking fairly heavily.
When we got back to her place I gave her a cuddle and it turned into full, wonderful sex.
We have been meeting regularly ever since.
Obviously my brother knows nothing of this.
He and I never really got on.
He spent most of his young years at our gran’s as our parents were out a lot.
I preferred to be with my aunt, uncle and cousins.
They were more like a brother and sister to me throughout my childhood.
Then I was talking to my dad about having an affair with a married woman — but not saying who.
I was about to ask his advice when he said he was having an affair with a married woman too.
I asked if it was anyone I knew.
I was gobsmacked when he said it was my sister-in-law.
I left as quickly as I could.
I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.
I ignore her texts.
I am keeping well away from my father, brother and sister-in-law.
I think everyone is beginning to wonder why.
I do not know if I should speak to my brother and let him know what is going on or if I should keep quiet.
PAT SAYS: Telling him what you know and what you have been up to would probably be a mistake.
It would likely tear the family apart and that would achieve nothing for any of you.
Sort out your own life and let the others sort theirs.
Your sister-in-law is unhappy.
She needs to decide whether to stay in her marriage and, if so, how to put things right with your brother.
Avoid talking to your dad about his affair with her too.
Instead, talk to a counsellor and start working out what you really want from your life.
If it is to find a loving partner, then find one of your own rather than getting involved with other people’s wives.
My e-leaflet on counselling explains help available and where to find it.
Improve your social life, meet new people, make new friends and find someone special to share your life with.
That way, happiness lies – not angst and family dissent, as telling tales involving other people’s loved ones would certainly do.