My Conversation With A Married Woman About Why She Flirts With Other Men

Over time, an exciting marriage can divulge into one riddled with boring everyday routines. The marriage becomes all about the duplicate routines with the kids, homework, family outings, baby showers, grocery shopping, work, chores, PTA meetings, sex once a month if you are lucky, etc.  So when a cute guy on Facebook or at work suddenly starts checking you out or starts to throw some attention your way, your heart can actually start beating again if you welcome the overtures.

“Oh! Someone is into me. I can still garner some attention from men,” you may say to yourself.

Unlike your hubby, your flirt buddy is anything but boring. After all, there is nothing terribly wrong with a little flirting every now and then. It’s just a harmless game of intrigue and the occasional flirtatious Facebook banter and suggestive texts. Receiving this kind of attention can feel great especially if you have a hubby whose eyes hardly wanders away from the TV, the beer or the food on the dining table. As long as you do not get physical with your flirt buddy, what can it hurt?

A married woman who was once flirting with me on Facebook explained;

“Flirting with you actually helps my marriage. It puts me in a better mood so everyone around me, including my husband, is happy. The sex is manageable because I am fantasizing about you doing me instead of him.”

Interesting response, don’t you think?!

The questions I have been dying to ask married women who flirt goes like this;

“How did another man gain enough access to you to begin flirting in the first place?”

“Who or what gave another man the encouragement or the courage to flirt with you?”

When I was presented with an opportunity to obtain answers to my questions, I seized it. The opportunity came as a result of a video blog I shot on the reasons why one should never send nude pictures to a man. A rather contemptuous discussion with a love interest who shared her nude pictures sparked my interest in the topic.   Following the publication of the video blog, my married friend who happens to be a big fan and an avid reader of my articles, reached out to share her thoughts.

The conversation which occurred over facebook messenger started innocently enough; that is until she disclosed that a man had sent her a picture of his shaft. “Really?” I said to myself. “I need to find out more.” Here is my chance to ask how he managed to get close enough to send such a picture.  I needed to find out why she was talking to such a man in the first place.

Just in case you are curious, I sought permission from my friend to share screenshots of our dialogue. My messages are in blue and her responses are in gray. Enjoy!








“Fascinated by the attention” was the reason my married friend gave me for giving her number to another man. “Most married women are fooling around though…they will not go to the next step, trust me” was another response which generated a myriad of intriguing thoughts for me.

Do some women continue to seek attention or validation after marriage?  Is attention an addiction to some women especially if it is coming from other men other than her husband? Is flirting about the “excitement” as mentioned by my friend? I was curious about how married women help create the environment for men to flirt in the first place.  I ended up with more questions after speaking to my friend. Questions I know I may not find easy answers to.

This article was not written to judge my friend or discuss the morality of married women flirting with other men.  I hope to be married one day so I developed a natural curiosity on the subject given the fact that some married women have flirted with me; mostly on social media.

Flirting makes one feel attractive, needed, there is a hint of playfulness, a lust for life and an expression of one’s libido. Perhaps that is why my married friend was fascinated by the attention from another man. A fascination which caused the man to develop the audacity to send a picture of his shaft to her. Oh well! The quest for answers continues but I am off to a good start.

What are your thoughts on why married women flirt?




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